When we were engaged, one of the decisions we made was that we wanted to be one faith on our wedding day. My soon-to-be husband was a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran and I was Catholic. After lengthy discussions with our parents and our priest, we decided that being a part of the Catholic family would be the right decision for our family. Nine years later, we would be bringing into our Catholic family our first son through the Sacrament of Baptism.

Over the years (we have teenagers now) through lots of trial and error, we have come up with 10 things parents can do bringing up their children through the celebration of the Mass. These are things that we have done bringing up our sons. Some of the tips and advice I have listed here may not work for your children. My list is only here to help give you some ideas as we all bring up our children in the Catholic faith.

Babies and small children

1. Make sure all of their needs are met before leaving the house. Babies and small children not receiving the Eucharist can have a snack, milk, or juice before Mass. Do a quick diaper change before heading out the door and everyone will be comfortable for the next hour.
2. Pack “quiet” things for Mass for the children to play with. Mass is not the place for the squeaky teething toys, toys with batteries, hand-held devices, or even the die-cast cars. We were at Mass a few weeks ago where a little guy was playing with his two cars on the pew. At first, he was quiet with them and wasn’t a distraction. It wasn’t long before he was “racing” his cars with sound effects too. We brought Crayola Wonder Marker sets to Mass. They don’t make a mess and they are very quiet for children to use. They also hold a young child’s attention for a little while.
3. Sit in the front. Many parents think it is better to be in the back of the church so they have a quick way out if the little ones get fussy. Have a look at things from your children’s eyes. You choose a pew in the back, get situated and comfortable since this is your spot for the next hour, Mass starts, everyone stands, and all they can see is the backs of people and can’t see what is going on. It is amazing how their attitude changes when they can see what is happening during Mass. We always sat in the front at Mass and even received many compliments from the older parishioners on how well our boys behaved.
4. Take them out when they get fussy. Yes, God put the wiggle in children and they should be welcome in any Catholic church. They are the future of our church. But, recently I have seen more and more parents stay within the congregation while their little one is having a bad day screaming to make sure he/she is being heard. It shows respect for everyone in the congregation praying that the fussy one is taken out of Mass. Make sure it doesn’t become “playtime” and run around in the back. Otherwise, they will figure out that if I scream, I can come back and play. They need to learn respect for the building they are in and the people around them.
5. Praise for good behavior, teach and correct for misbehavior. When our boys would do really well at Mass, we would take them out for lunch or dinner right after Mass. They really enjoyed this family time we had during the meal and we were able to talk to them about the Mass. Even today we still go out to dinner after Mass and it has become our “family meeting” time to discuss what is happening for the week and to enjoy each other’s company before our hectic lives of work and school take over. We look forward to these times and it is a great way to start our week. When they would misbehave at Mass, they would have to sit in time-out for the same length of time they were misbehaving during Mass. Once we get home, there was no playtime or continuing on with life as normal. They had to earn back their time for the misbehavior. This system worked really well for us because they were learning what our expectations were for Mass.

Older children

1. There is a time for “potty”. School-aged children can go for a few hours without a need for using the bathroom. They do it at school every day. Unless, of course, they have a medical condition. If your child is in need of a bathroom during Mass, by all means, let them go. When it becomes a pattern, there is a possibility they are using it as an excuse to get out of Mass. Have them go before Mass starts and they have to wait until Mass is over.
2. Becoming a part of Mass. Being a server is a wonderful opportunity for your children to be a part of the Mass celebration. They can learn everything about the different parts of the Mass from the vestments to the challis and everything in between. It also gives them some ownership that they are helping the priest celebrate Mass with the whole congregation.
3. Ask them questions on the ride home. Parents are the first teachers of our children about the faith so why not quiz them on the ride home? Ask them one thing they got out of Mass. What did Jesus say to them? What was one thing in the readings do they remember? If they know they will be questioned on the way home, they will pay more attention to what is going on during Mass.

Teenagers

1. Dressing appropriately for Mass. One thing we tell our sons is that they are representing our family whenever they leave our house. They need to dress appropriately wherever they go, especially for Mass. We don’t allow hats, inappropriate t-shirts, sweatpants, or shorts to Mass. They are going to God’s House and should arrive respectfully. Teenagers have a style all their own and want to show that wherever they go. Mass is not the place for short-shorts, leggings that don’t leave much to the imagination, or clothing that looks like they just rolled out of bed. Save those fashion choices for hanging out with their friends.
2. Make Mass a priority. Once teenagers get involved with school activities and work, it is very easy to push Mass to the back burner. Many employers hire teenagers because they are willing to work on the weekends. Our sons work most weekends. Usually, it is double shifts on Saturdays and single shifts on Sundays. Luckily, we are able to find a church that celebrates Mass on Sunday nights. Once you let your teens know that missing Mass is not an option, you will be showing them how important celebrating the Mass is to your family and that tradition will carry them through college and beyond.

As I have said before, these 10 things I have listed are ways my husband and I raised our sons in the Catholic faith. Parenting is not easy. No one gives you an owner’s manual when you take your precious little one home from the hospital. If we all help each other, we can give our children a spiritual foundation that will set them up for a lifetime.

Many of our tips and tricks came from a fabulous book written by Mary Ann Kuharski Raising Catholic Children. You can order it from Amazon HERE.