Last night and this morning I was possibly going through an epiphany. I was feeling very sorry about myself. I was disappointed with myself about my rapidly rising weight gain.

I absolutely knew how it happened. Throughout this quarantine, I have been cooking and baking at home more. With three teenage sons and their “snack” throughout the house, it is easy to see how my weight gain became critical.

Looking at the scale yesterday morning was an eye-opener. I gained all the weight back that I had lost since we moved here. I am starting at ground zero….again.

It wasn’t just the brownies, cookies, chips, and cake that made me upset with myself. It is also the toll this extra weight is doing to me physically.

A couple of days ago I was just cleaning our guest bathroom. As I finished, I gathered my supplies, turned around to head to the kitchen, and a horrendous pain surged through my lower back on the left side. It was difficult to get out of a sitting position, lift my leg, and adjust my position while sleeping.

My knees have been barking at me lately too. Just taking the first step down a flight of stairs scares me. I cannot do this any longer.

I was standing by my bedside talking with my husband this morning with tears welling up in my eyes. He told me something very profound. “Being sorry for yourself is just an excuse. It doesn’t solve your problem.”

So here I am. Ready for a change. I know what I need to do. The thing that hinders me is my past attempts of trying to lose weight. Once I hit a plateau…I quit. Comfort foods and vicious cravings come calling me…I quit. Don’t feel like working out…I quit. Why? Why do I keep doing this to myself?

It’s time for me to be compassionate to myself. It’s time for me to realize that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Likewise, my age and metabolism aren’t going to make it any easier. This is going to take time, effort, and perseverance to get through this.

So this morning I installed the app Lose It! I need to have accountability about what I am eating and getting some exercise daily. The app says I should reach my goal weight on January 29, 2021.

I also need to have accountability by blogging about my journey here. It won’t be a daily blog about how things are going. It most likely will be a weekly update on how I am doing physically, mentally, and spiritually with my progress.

So here I go. I hope and pray that my journey will help inspire you to make some changes in your life. Be compassionate to yourself and create the greatest life ever!