My husband Micky and I were engaged on December 25, 1991, at exactly midnight. Our wedding day was on June 20, 1992; five and a half years from the day we met.

During the less than six months of preparing for our wedding day, we were busy with all the details of our big day. The guest list, dresses, colors, food, and the ceremony took center stage in our conversations. Our focus was on the day, not on what happens after our wedding day.

Our wonderful priest that was performing the ceremony kept us grounded during the entire process. During our meeting, he was preparing us for the life that we were going to live together. He could dig deep into our relationship to get us talking about things we have never discussed. We thought we talked about everything in the 5 1/2 years we were dating. Not even close.

One thing we talked about extensively was that no matter what happened in our lives together, divorce would not be an option. That became a hard rule for us. We talked about different scenarios and asked each other if a divorce was an option. Nope, divorce is not an option. We will do whatever it takes to keep this marriage intact until death we do part.

Now, in the conversations we had, there was only one thing that would separate us through a divorce. That one thing would be if we abused the other or our life was at stake. In all other instances, we would do our very best and work hard towards getting the help we need for each other so we can stay together for life. Here are some ways you can fight for your marriage:

• Talk to your priest or religious leader. He/She is invested to see that the two of you love each other in how Jesus loves each of us. Unconditional love.
• Talk to a marriage counselor. Having someone who is trained to counsel married couples can help the two of you to see things differently.
• Talk to each other. It is good to get things out in the open to see things through your spouse’s eyes. If things get heated, table the discussion for another time when things have cooled off. I will post about fighting fairly in the future.
• Do not bring your problems to family or friends. What your marriage is going through should be just between the two of you. Family and friends might give you terrible advice that pulls you away from each other instead of pulling you back together.
• Pray about it. Bring your concerns and issues to God. He is there to help guide you and your spouse to a love that is beautiful, forgiving, and loving. Married love is the closest thing we have to heavenly love on Earth.

Make time to have a conversation with your spouse about what the two of you can do to make sure that divorce is not an option in your marriage. What are some things you would do to fight for your marriage? Have those support systems in place if things get rocky in your marriage.

If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help in any way that you can. Talk to anyone who will listen.