God works in mysterious ways…
Last week I was at a crossroads. I was discouraged by the current state our education system was in with this pandemic, concerned about all the hard and extra work teachers are put through with little pay to help out, and I was worried about our own family going into the fall and what happens when my family members struggle with anxiety and depression.
On Wednesday this week, I was still feeling pretty discouraged. I felt like I was pulled in several different directions with no time to breathe and take time for myself. I felt like I had to be a cheerleader for my students, a cheerleader for my co-workers, and a cheerleader for my family. But no one was a cheerleader for me. I thought I was alone (even when I am helping everyone around me). I am sure some of you have felt this way.
God loves to get my attention through music. So on the way home Wednesday, in the confines of my “Suburba-tank” (as our middle son calls it), I was listening to my Spotify playlist I created.
Our wedding song, “Will You Still Love Me” by Chicago, played not once, but twice on the way home. Also, the song, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”, by Starship played as well.
“Very funny, God. I hear you….”
Later that evening I had to get some last-minute items we needed for supper. I hopped into my “Suburba-tank” and put my playlist on. “Smile” from Katy Perry came through the speakers and instantly changed my mood.
“Yes, God, I’m listening,…”
More messages were coming down from heaven on Thursday and Friday this past week.
My students were coming into my room inspired to be working on their final video project. My hard work of trying to find a movie creator because iMovie was too big for our laptops was in play…and they were focused on their project!!
I had a little 5th-grade girl, who I have only known for 8 days due to our schedule, wrapped her arms around me and gave me the biggest hug her tiny little body could give me. My heart was filling up.
It was Homecoming week for us. Our school district let out early on Friday so everyone could enjoy the parade.
Micky and I were walking from my school to Main Street with my school’s Behavior Director. She is new to our building, she was formally at our High School, and this was the first time I had a long, uninterrupted conversation with her.
I had two of her youngest sons in my classes. The youngest one I had taught since he was in 5th grade and loved seeing his bright smile every time he walked into my classroom.
I found out, during our walk with his mother, that he bought a frame for the note I personally write to every single 8th grader that has walked through my door. You can read about it here in my blog post: https://liveloveandcompassion.com/notes-to-my-8th-graders/.
I had to hold back the tears when she talked about how much my words profoundly touched him before he headed off to High School. And that my words still meant something to him today. My heart was finally full after emptying it to so many other people in my life.
But God was not done yet…
We watched our small, little community’s Homecoming parade. It was shorter than past years due to COVID, but it still had the same school spirit as we were getting ready for the big game against a formidable opponent and rival.
Students, past and current, were waving and yelling, “Mrs. Neilan!!, from their floats. Some ran from their parents to give me a fist-bump, hug, or just to say, “Hi!” excited to see me outside of the classroom. (Yes, teachers do have a life.😜 )
“I’m still listening, God… Thank you! 💖
More former students took the time to visit with me at the football game that evening. They were telling me about how High School was going, their plans, and that I was their favorite teacher in Middle School. I was overjoyed. My heart was spilling over with love and appreciation. The dilemma I was struggling with the previous week had an answer…
I am right where I am supposed to be. A teacher for these kiddos who need me. And I need them.
God works in mysterious ways.
You may not recognize He is there at first. Just keep listening…..
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I’m where you were, wondering if any of my former students even remember me. I write notes to all of them, too, at the end of the year. My first year of retirement, I wrote every single one of my students that I had that last year. Retirement kind of stinks because I’m home alone every day. I can’t even sub yet due to health concerns, both my husband’s and my own. I MISS KIDS!!! One of my highlights was talking to Mickey when he was helping another teacher. I’m beginning to wonder if everything I did for my kids even really mattered. And I’m not hearing any songs right now; I’m looking for signs of help but not seeing many.
I’m so glad you were able to get what you needed; you deserved it.❤️
Your former next-door neighbor
I truly miss having you next door so I have someone to lean on and talk to. Many times I go to school, do my job, and not see or talk to another adult until I get home to my husband. So last week was tough for me. Keep looking, my friend, He’s there. I’m there for you too whenever you need me. 😊