We are finally rounding the corner of our “anxiety house” and heading towards our “serenity house”. It has definitely been a roller coaster but not as bad as past years.

During one of our more calm weeks, Micky sent me a fantastic article on what to do when your spouse has anxiety and what they are going through during an attack. You can find it here.

I read this article and suddenly my eyes were open to what my husband was going through. It also taught me what I should do as a supportive spouse.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and my husband was in a full-fledged anxiety attack. He was silent, recluse, and distant. I reeled back to our earlier years when I thought it was something I did. I stayed silent and tried to not cry. I told myself, “This Christmas season I will not cry.”

The next morning I referred back to the article Micky sent to me and put into practice what I had read.

It wasn’t about me. I had to get that into my head. I went about my day as normal as it could be. We went to Mass and usually, we hold hands during the service. Not this time. He kept to himself and I kept repeating to myself that he was working through some things and it wasn’t about me.

I can’t ask questions or be confrontational. During an attack, those with anxiety have trouble figuring out how to verbalize what is going on. It is best for me to be kind and to wait until he is ready to talk about it.

I have to be there for him. Ask if they need help (if they’re willing). A gentle touch on the shoulder, getting whatever they need, or making a meal can go a long way in helping your spouse during an anxiety attack.

Not to trivialize it, but this last attack my husband had I treated it like he was sick with the flu or a cold. It was amazing how just being supportive and not letting it get to me made the attack much shorter. Once he was able to work through his thoughts on his own it was only a couple of days and my husband was back.

If you have a spouse or significant other that has anxiety, please read the article attached above. It will really change how you see what anxiety is like from the other side. When we are supportive of each other our relationships will be incredibly strong and secure.