As of the date of this post, my husband and I have been married for 27 1/2 years. We dated 5 1/2 years before our wedding day so you could say we know each other very well. Some of you probably know of the little intricacies of your significant other if you have been together for a long period of time. The subtle glances across the room. The inside jokes only the two of you know about. The gentle squeeze on a knee when one of you is saying more than you should. I thought I knew everything when I married my husband. In this case, I was sorely mistaken.

We were four years into our marriage when we decided to build our home in the town that our Alma mater was. We both graduated there and had jobs right out of college so it was a good idea. My dad owns a lumber yard/home center and he said it would be more economical for us to build instead of buying a home and renovating. I was working at a local pharmacy and my husband was working in the ER at the local hospital, volunteering as an EMT, and was also helping out with the police department.

My hard-working groom (we were still in the honeymoon phase) was working 12-hour shifts at night, building our house during the day, and would sometimes be called away on his days off to an emergency. I was feeling neglected and lonely because I only saw him for moments during our day. I would often take meals out to my husband and the crew building our house and get a tiny bit of time to see him, but the freezing cold weather made me scurry back to the other home we were renting.

So in my naive mind, I thought he was ignoring me and went to a bookstore in a neighboring town and bought all kinds of books about how to be romantic by Gregory J. P. Godek. These books are amazing and have literally thousands of ideas to use on your significant other (I still have them on my bookshelf.). You can find his books here https://www.amazon.com/s?k=gregory+j.+p.+godek&ref=nb_sb_noss Good thing Amazon wasn’t around then otherwise I would have had a library of these books!

I laid out all those books on our coffee table as a strong hint that I was still around. Maybe he will try some of these out on me….. You don’t even need to read the whole book….. The entries are really short….. Why is he not doing anything?…. He’s not even talking about the books….. How long should I wait?…. Holy moly! I was so clueless!! Needless to say, he didn’t even open the cover! I still don’t think he has ever read them to this day.

Yes, I was upset that he was so focused on everything he had to do and I wasn’t even in the picture. Did I tell him that….nope. That was my mistake. I was thinking “All about me” and it hadn’t even crossed my mind that maybe he was exhausted. That decision I made of “hinting” what my feelings were and not talking to him about it had us walking around on eggshells for about a month that we couldn’t get back.

Men do not understand when their girlfriend/wife use hints to say what they feel. They want us to tell them straight out what our feelings are. Be transparent. If there is an issue that needs to be discussed or even if you just had a bad day and need a hug, tell him. Communication is a huge part of a relationship. When that is in place, wonderful things will happen in your relationship.