A couple of years ago I was taking our three sons and their friends to the latest “Fast and Furious” movie at the time. I wasn’t too worried about my kiddos because I knew my husband, Micky and I have taught them well how to act in public. I wasn’t so sure about our sons’ friends.

And just like I thought, one of the friends was talking loudly throughout the movie. I had to keep reminding him to be quiet several times. One kept leaving and coming back with more snacks and drinks for himself, and one was behaving himself pretty well.

It wasn’t until I was ready to leave that I was really disappointed in the “extra” boys I had for the afternoon. We have always taught the boys since they were young toddlers camping, “What you pack in, you pack out.” Which means picking up after yourself wherever you are. So at movies, ballgames, concerts, and shows, we take care of any garbage we have when we leave. The “extra” boys I had taken to the movie just got up and was proceeding to leave the theater.

“Um…come back here and pick up your stuff,” I suggested. They looked at me like I had an alien coming out of my head. “We’ve never had to do that!” they countered back. I then told them, “You are with me and that is what we do in our family.”

I have noticed over the 25 years I have been teaching manners and common sense of little people is quickly diminishing. I wish I had 50 cents each time I had to remind students to say “Please” before asking for a piece of candy from the jar on my desk. Some students even just shove their greedy hand in the jar without even asking, until I or another student reminds them.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not pinning an entire generation that all children do not have manners. There are some wonderful children with the best manners out there and I do see them on a daily basis too. It is refreshing to see.

Children act by what they see. What they see is how the adults around them act. “If Mom and Dad act this way, then it must be OK.”

The following are just a few of the life skills Micky and I have taught our boys while they were growing up.

Empathy for Others

Carter understood empathy right away. In the sweet picture above (my favorite) there is quite a story with that one. Andrew got himself into trouble and had to sit on the “naughty chair” for three minutes (1 minute for each year of their age). I don’t even remember what he was in trouble for. Carter who was playing in the same area of the chair felt bad for Andrew. As I went over to check on Andrew, Carter was sitting in the chair next to Andrew. I asked Carter, “Why are you sitting with Andrew?” “Andrew sad,” he replied. Needless to say, that “time-out” didn’t last the whole three minutes. These two have been best buds ever since.

Clean Up After Yourself…Leave No Trace

Our family was big into camping when we lived on the east side of the state. The boys learned early on that whatever we brought to our campsite, we took it out and to leave everything the way it was when we arrived. We do this as a family for every event we go to, every hotel we stay in, any place we go to. It helps everyone working there if we help a little bit too.

Appropriate Table Manners

When the boys were 8, 6, and 4 years old we took them on their first cruise. Micky and I like to dress up for dinner and go out on the cruise; we had the boys dress up too for one evening. During the meal, we taught the boys what the different utensils meant, how to have their napkin on their lap, and using manners to ask for things at the table.

There was a table next to us and one of the ladies at the table was having a birthday. The boys loved watching the crew bring the cake and sing to her.

We were enjoying our meal and teaching the boys tips on fine dining when the birthday girl came to our table. She said she was impressed with how well our boys were behaving that she wanted to give her birthday cake to our family. There were huge smiles all around our table!

You Represent the Family

I have mentioned this one before in a previous post It Starts at Home. This one is probably the most important one Micky and I have taught our sons. It is also the one we have received the most compliments on. Our sons’ employers have always complimented us on how well mannered our boys are and the work ethic they have to get things done at work.

It is never too early or late to teach these skills to your young kiddos or large teenagers that are towering over you (like mine are). As the parent, adult, in the home, it is our responsibility to teach our children to be caring, productive, and helpful members of society before they leave us. It will give them advantages in the workplace, in their own relationships, and with their own families so they too can teach the next generation.

What are some things you have done to teach your children manners? What worked for you and your family? Please let me know in the comments so we can all share our ideas.