Back in the day, it was commonplace to have different roles in a marriage. We would see in our homes and on television what the gender roles were. Women would be at home and tend to the home and children, the men would go to work to provide for the family. It was often said that marriage was 50/50 in responsibilities.

I was raised in a home where my Dad went to work at his business to provide all our hearts desired. My mom would be at home doing many different tasks to make us comfortable after a long day at school or work. She would even do the books for the business until the wee hours of the morning.

When we were in the early stages of our marriage, I was expecting the same ideas and roles in our family. That expectation quickly changed once we became DINKS (Dual Income No Kids). Micky was working three different jobs, many times through the night. And I was working different jobs until a teaching position opened up for me. I realized that there were times I had to step up and do extra around our small apartment so I could relieve him of his chores when he would come home exhausted.

Long gone are the days when it was the man’s job to take out the trash or just the woman’s job to do the dishes. There were many times throughout our marriage when it was a high-five at the door. Micky would come home from a night shift and I would leave for school. Many times we wouldn’t even shut the engine off of our vehicle! We had to step up and take care of things so our home could run as smoothly as it could.

One evening, during the winter, Micky was working a 24-hour flight shift. It had snowed quite a bit that afternoon so by dinner time our driveway was covered with a couple of inches of snow. I knew he would be tired the next morning so I decided to shovel the driveway after I got our sons to bed. After about 2 hours, scooping by hand with a shovel, I was burned out and resting near the garage doors. My next-door neighbor across the street saw me and came to my rescue with a snowblower.

The next morning, when Micky arrived home, he was extremely appreciative that he didn’t have to move snow. He was able to crawl into bed and get the sleep he desperately needed. I had a sense of pride in myself knowing that I was able to be helpful and make my husband happy.

We, as a married couple, need to be there for each other. There are no specific tasks we have assigned for each other. There are going to be areas in which the husband excels and other areas the wife excels. The beauty of marriage is when the two of you fill in the gaps for your spouse and you become a team, working together, side-by-side, to make your marriage complete.